Thanks for all the miracles You give me the last 4 years. Shall I mention it? I guess so. Well, somehow the ones I remember most are the miracles about Uncle Snowy, so here they are:
. Semar-knight connection
. Those joker cards in such places
. The personality type of the men in the games
. Gambler-snowy adventure clues (tons of them!)
. Circus clowns & magicians clues
And there're more miracles, as outstanding as like the aboves:
. Today You sent me Ar, who's got more or less same problem with mine: daydreaming - although she's unlikely a 5 (9ish). My God, I'll try to interpret it as positive as possible: You want me to learn from her mistakes, so I wont experience the same in the future (inspite of You didn't send her to me to give a sign that I'll experience just the same with her). But I also got Your message that You're the Most Tolerant - a trait that I barely recognize - seen from how You give her lots of chances: 2 delays, plus the anomality of the time stretch that one rarely gets.
. The sun's still shining, the earth's still standing tough to support my postponed assignments. There're no riots or chaos whatsoever to enrage more of my inner turbulence.
. This laptop is still working despite my reluctant to use it in supposed way.
. You still gives me flood of clues/treasures/apples through many ways, whether it's movies, songs, books, etc.
Now that I've seen more clearly the miracles You've given to me, I know You're capable to give me even more miraculous miracles to overcome this anxiety.
You know my God? I think now there's an advantage not to be a master, that is, I can give up my direction to something higher, like You, so I wont be necessary to generate a hard effort for anything. It wont be myself to blame, but that 'higher' something - my uplevel master.
I don't know how much actually You give humans the degree of free will. Even I start to doubt it now, for I found there's a possibility that it's ONLY YOU who posseses it, as all the universe, including the humans, is just in Your 'mind'. It could be You who controls us all, like I control Uncle Snowy.
Of course, if I were You, how come I can be such anxious about what other people might consider a little thing? Well, my theory is, it's just an illusion. You put before every creature, an illusion that makes us think we're not You or part of You.
Why? Why are You just giving me this anxiety if I wasn't meant to be anxious?? There're lots of things I do not understand, my God, and I don't know either I'm meant to understand or not but my intuition said I'm meant to. As I've come to understand that there might be some kind of illusion, now I want to understand the solution as well. Please God, how to uplift the veil from the truth of my strength?
And why on earth You give me things I don't like?? Why do You often hide the good behind the bad and vice versa? Well, I know, I know.. that I already knew an answer which You've already approved infact: You love to play hide and seek. And I also realize that I love it too. But I never knew that this game can sometimes hurt.
So now, I guess I'll ask You the things I really-really need to get through the game.
Please give me courage if You don't want to give me insensitivity.
Give me strength if You don't want to give me senso-neural immunity.
Give me adversity if You don't always want to give me things that I love.
Give me thrill in fight if You don't intend to give me excitement in flight.
And most of all, give me the penetrating eyes to see through Your persistent illusions.
With lots of pleads,
[little blue riding hood]
