[tanggal asli penulisan: 090512]
Ok, let's see.. Where am I?
Still in the 5th Labyrinth, the 2nd big turning: “The Intersections”. Uncle Snowy had introduced me to Uncle Harpy, but the training with him hasn't really begun - since I'm not yet ready for it.
Honestly, some how I've been attached to Uncle Snowy. I've started to understand him. The more I understand, the more I'm excited. It's simply a delightful feeling to know the difference between the creatures the Owner of the Labyrinth created: "Oh.. that's why you can rarely sad!" or "Oh.. I'm like this.. you're like that.. interesting!"
When Uncle Harpy was introduced to me, suddenly I felt that my time with Uncle Snowy will soon end. Really, I started to enjoy his joke, his tales and stories, his games, his silly riddles, his plays, his circus performances, his magic tricks, his surprises, his narcissism and shameless attitude, his bouncy gestures, his spontanity, his 'out of the box' methodes, his strange phobia of getting lost, his curiosity that sometimes threats my privacy, his relieving words that make me relaxed to face world problems, his happy way in approaching life.. even his pranks!
Despite my cynical attitude to him (boy, he never get bored by this sarcastic kid!!), deep down, I'll experience a great loss if he's away forever. But the Owner of the Labyrinth heard me, and gave me good news: Uncle Snowy will be my mentor (include as my Nemesis, my sparring partner) as long as I live!!
"That's rrrrrright, Maître! So, prepare for the next surprise!! Heheh.."
Something in me said that the upcoming Uncle Harpy will also be my permanent mentor. So.. there is Uncle Snowy, and there is Uncle Harpy - as long as I know now. Fine. Anything from the Owner of the Labyrinth will always suits me.
Anyway there’s more important point I’d like to write, still about Uncle Snowy.
***
“Wanna buy a cake, Miss?”
“No, Ma’am, sorry.”
It’s unbelieveable for me to see how much improvement I’ve made about my prediction to people’s behaviors. I, a semi-autistic, absent-minded person – if I may use the word ‘person’ – is being awaken, to become more aware of the environment! All the time, I only use my instinct for sensing danger (which is now proven that it always right so I can trust it fully). Then, in the present moment, I start to see that it can also be used in predicting human gesture in more neutral way: just to know what a particular person will do in some seconds forward.
That’s why, when I walked into canteen some hours ago, I knew already that one particular person about 5 meters from me, a mother carrying baby in a cloth sling guarding a bundle of white thin plastic bag, was not part of the ordinary people around her. Her appearence was very ordinary, though: white t-shirt, long trousers (jeans?), sandals, batik cloth sling, short-black (curly?) hair, had some wrinkles upon her face. What made her different, then? Before my mind could list and analyze consciously, “gesture of expecting attention, desperate face – so explicit to me, self-doubt, sense of urgent need to fulfill material things,” my instinct already said, “a saleswoman or some kind.. or could be an imposter as well!”. But actually, it’s not the gesture that made her ‘extraordinary’ in my eyes – it’s the aura. The aura of desperation. That was the real thing that made my mind generate or ‘break down’ the gestures which made it.
I also knew that she would approach me (but this ‘knowledge’ seemed come from nowhere, I just knew it). So I walked faster with my head looking the ground. But just as I thought, she gently interrupted my steps.
“Wanna buy a cake, Miss?”
I answered with a little smile, but without stopping, “No, Ma’am, sorry.”
It was a reflex. My unconscious mind and instinct of “Run away!!” led me. Now this is the real thing that I’d like to expand. About my tired mind. About me that sometimes can also be exhausted by life tricks.
My core desire to understand life had brought me to this juncture, the spot where I was introduced to Uncle Snowy by the Owner of the Labyrinth. There’s a credo written on the signage.
“To find the Truth, you must first know what is Truth. To know what is Truth you must also understand what is Lie.”
So, here I am, with Uncle Snowy since then. But this time somehow I found my self rather dizzy with his illusions. I stop forgiving anyone who played me fool. I give no chance to every potential trickster. I’m bored with those desperate faces, pleading voices, self-pitiness.. anyone who interpret me as semanticaly “can be fooled” or at the most true sense, “can help”. I’m bored with the guessing game – since I often lost from Uncle Snowy. I rarely be the winner.
“Hey, that’s not true! Vous êtes un maître, évidemment. Le maître des devinettes! Let’s give a try:
C'est un truand
Un gentleman
Un bon vivant
Étourdissant
Jamais perdant
Toujours gagnant…?”
“L'Arsène.”
“Eh, voilà!”
“Very witty. Very verrrry witty!”
“Oh don’t be so cynical, Maître. That’s your problem: you start to lose sense of humor!”
“I won’t deny it.”
“So what are you waiting for? Come, re-enjoy the game!”
“I’m just tired. I’m bored.”
“Alright. What do you want now?”
“I want some moment to rest my mind, out of the game!”
“Very well, it’s your lead. But remember your dream, Maître. The thing called ‘your ideal future’ will be full of lie-recognizing or truth-revealing.. anyway you’d like to call! I strongly suggest that you increase the stamina of your mind – and the endurance of the heart, body, and soul as well.”
“How?”
“One of the key is just be like me: enjoy the game!”
But I’m no Uncle Snowy. I need to ‘meditate’ so I can back to the game with the joy he always talked about. And here’s the result.
I’m not the one whose life is full of suffering, surviving, or struggling with the harsh world. I don’t need to worry about material things so I can focus all my resources to develop the abstract world of my mind. I grew up in a relatively supportive environment that self-pitiness can’t easily come to mind. I don’t know what the woman with the sad face come through. If I were her, I might do the same: approaching the potential person that maybe could at least accept her, that is to buy at least one of the cakes she offered. If I were her, there’s possibility that I might take the condition (anything that triggered her to try her luck selling cake on the road) even worse: do nothing, lay down, just like a depressed, irresponsible mother. Besides, if I recalled my memory now.. she was
selling something – not begging! She indeed deserves an attention.
“Look at her carefully, kid,” suddenly Uncle Harpy said. “Now that’s what I called COURAGE!”
Oh dear me.. now I regret my attitude. But my mind found the reason why my instinct so strongly pushed me to ‘escape’ from her, beside my hatred to the probability of being fooled again (since her gestures were just like those of the tricksters I knew): it’s her EMOTION that overwhelmed me! Maybe I have no sensitivity in recognizing many kind of emotions, but I can acutely sense this one: the emotion that contains EXPECTATION. The more expectation put on me, the more I withdraw.
Expectation = To cling = To parasite = To drain
That’s right, Gentlemen: Vampire!
“Hahahaha... hoho..!! Now you suspect me of being a vampire?” Uncle Snowy broke.
“I don’t suspect you. I accuse you!”
“Hohohooo... alright, alright, I admit it! My tricks this time can drain your battery – if YOU let it! But what is life without variations, Maître. And... maybe it’s time for sharpening your forgotten blade!”
“Hein??”
“Le poignard vert, mon petit Eagloo, le poignard vert!”
“...no..”
Uncle Snowy nodded, grinning mischievously, while I slowly shook my head for I can’t believe what I’ve heard.
“No..”
“Ouh yeah..”
“You’re kidding. You’re always kidding!”
“Hey, not really! At least not this time.. and YOU KNOW that. Hehe..”
Then, with his well-known ‘springy’ steps, he moved forward while whistling and singing flamboyantly, leaving me with my storming brain.. and heart.
[Uncle Snowy Singing]
“…
Gentleman cambrioleur
A gagné le cœur.”
note:
The song excerpts: “L'Arsène” & “Gentleman Cambrioleur”
The comic excerpts: Pak Janggut (by Piet Wijn & Thom Roep)
